The Double Standards of Customer Service: Why Do Businesses Tolerate Staff Rudeness Toward Customers?

All she wanted to know were the opening hours

If you’ve been out and about recently – whether in a doctor’s surgery, a retail shop, or even a customer-facing office, you’ve likely seen the signs. Bold notices on walls and reception desks that declare:

“We will not tolerate rudeness or aggression towards our staff.”

And quite right, too. Nobody should have to endure abuse while doing their job. Staff have the right to feel safe and respected at work.

But here’s the troubling contradiction: while customers are told in no uncertain terms that bad behaviour won’t be tolerated, businesses often turn a blind eye when the rudeness comes from their own employees.

A Growing Disconnect

The modern customer experience seems plagued by a strange imbalance. Patients at GP surgeries are made to feel as if asking a simple question is an inconvenience. 

Shoppers encounter curt staff who appear disinterested, or worse, openly dismissive or outright rude. Callers to public offices are sometimes treated with irritation rather than assistance.

This raises a vital question: if businesses are so quick to clamp down on customer misconduct, why are they so slow to address poor service and bad manners from their own teams?

Even charity shops are not immune to this type of issue. My wife found a bar of new, high end soap and a new cafetiere. When she approached the counter the volunteer behind the counter said: "Only swanky, toffee-nosed people buy this type of thing."

My wife, keeping her cool said: "Really? And do you think I'm swanky or do you think I'm toffee-nosed?"

The reply was "I didn't mean anything by it!"

The manager approached the counter, asked if anything was wrong and when appraised of what had transpired, sided with the volunteer. And yes, of course they have the "This charity does not tolerate rudeness or abuse to our staff." But not, sadly to their customers.

The Cost of Tolerating Rudeness

For businesses, the cost of allowing staff rudeness is high:

Damaged reputation – Word of mouth spreads fast. A single negative encounter can undo thousands of pounds’ worth of marketing spend.

Lost loyalty – Customers have more choice than ever. If treated badly, they will simply go elsewhere.

Toxic culture – When rudeness is tolerated, it creates a workplace where negativity thrives, dragging down both morale and performance.

Why the Double Standards?

There are a few reasons this contradiction exists:

Staff protection is visible, customer protection is not – A sign on the wall makes a strong statement, but how often do we see a poster saying: “We will not tolerate rudeness to our customers”? Rarely.

Excusing stress – High workload, pressure, or short staffing are often used as excuses for brusque behaviour, particularly in public services.

Power imbalance – In settings like doctors’ surgeries, customers (patients) can feel they have no choice but to accept poor treatment, which can lead to complacency from staff.

What Good Businesses Do Differently

The best organisations take a balanced approach:

Clear zero-tolerance policies both ways – Customers are asked to respect staff, and staff are required to show the same courtesy in return.

Training and accountability – Regular customer service training, plus processes for dealing with complaints quickly and fairly.

Empathy and communication – Encouraging staff to recognise the pressures customers face (illness, stress, financial concerns) rather than dismissing them.

A Call for Fairness

Respect in business should be a two-way street. Customers have every right to be held to a standard of behaviour, but so do the staff serving them. Businesses that only protect one side of the equation risk losing both custom and credibility.

It’s time more organisations lived up to the words on their own signs.

FACTFILE: 

Grok reveals that a 2019 study from the Journal of Service Research found 68% of customers experienced rude staff behavior, yet a mere 30% of businesses had formal policies addressing employee conduct toward customers, revealing a systemic double standard.

This disconnect is amplified by a 2023 UK survey by the Institute of Customer Service, showing a 15% rise in customer complaints about staff rudeness since 2020.

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